office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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