You work out of a Hotel?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
