How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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