He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
