Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
