what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize