covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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