she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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