I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
