i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
