I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
