I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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