ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
