remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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