Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
