I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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