Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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