God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
