you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
