There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
there is glitter all over my balls
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
