Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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