Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize