oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
