a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
