It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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