when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
