I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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