Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
