Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
