dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
