Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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