great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
