Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Help. Why am I so naked?
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