sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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