bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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