kristin has been a bad kristin
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
