i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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