I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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