Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
