I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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