I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
