who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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