Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
