is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're like the curious george of whores
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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