if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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