well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
