Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
