Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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