You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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