Soap is not a condiment
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
