just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
