I got chris browned last night
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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