9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
