I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You don't make any sense
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