He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We don't watch enough power rangers
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
