North Korea, Best Korea!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just pee around me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize