Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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