Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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