there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Everyone says I win the strip club
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
